Forgive thy neighbors – People judge others by their standards after all!

Forgive thy neighbors – People judge others by their standards after all!

Folks before you read this article, you may have to read a bit about my ‘Unique Platonic Love Story’ …and the things that happened as a repercussion!

So when family members and relatives heard about my decision to marry and settle down with the priest – the devotee of Maa Kali who used to get possessed every Tuesdays and Saturdays – the one I thought of as the re-incarnation of Shri Ramakrishna – because the same had been indicated to me via dreams** and even by a lady who conducted satsangs at her residence…..well it came as a shock to many ….. but obvious!

So the fact that I was drawn towards the priest for purely spiritual reasons was totally side-tracked by the neighbours or whoever heard about it! Methinks 90% of the people who heard about this ‘love’ of mine thought that I am dying to dive on bed with just any male available and celebrate my ‘suhaag raat’ – (the 1st night after marriage when sex becomes legalized for females!)- Well that was so very DUMB of those beeps I tell you!! I mean I wasn’t very ugly or dark or handicapped or barren or widow or divorce or anything that brings the marriage market down for an individual! Like how dumb was it to actually believe that I am dying to get married – with just anyone…just to be able to dive on bed!!!

Ridiculous! My parents of course did not think this – cause I had already rejected the proposals of engineer and army officer too…so had I been sex-starved – I would not have rejected – right? All are just the same in a dark room! Yea – this statement sounds sick but then the article that I am writing about is also about the sick mentality of people who thought of the dirtiest possible things regarding this love affair of mine!

The most hilarious rumour about me!

Time passed and I was kept more or less under house arrest….seldom allowed to go out- lest I would meet the priest and run away…elope with him – but then since my sister was expecting her second child – so her arrival made things lighter for me – with her around – I did not miss going out much – cause we chatted all day long – non-stop!

An year passed under house arrest and then I joined a job. You can check out my career graph here and read my stunts at various work places…stunts mean my work profile at different organisations! It was 1994 – around October when I happened to meet the priest suddenly at the bus stop…I gave him my office address and number..and he came to meet me…we met twice or maybe thrice at the Eden gardens….and it got reported at home immediately!! My office was located at Hastings that was close to the Eden gardens…the reason why we went there!

Well well – hell broke loose at home front but thank God my brother had come over from Bangalore! He took me to Bangalore and I joined NIIT, Richmond Road and stayed with him for 8 months. I came back and joined my parents since my brother got married and it would have been so embarrassing to be around with newly weds.

'That's about it - I've already told you twice as much as she told me...'
‘That’s about it – I’ve already told you twice as much as she told me…’

The rumour!

So back in New Barrackpore the rumour about me was thusly:

That while I was here working in Salora – I was actually a cabaret dancer in some dingy hotel…since I wore lipstick to office so the aged ladies here thought that early in the morning I actually go for cabaret dancing…because you see this was suburban region – here people are pretty poor and even miserly (am talking about early 1990’s) so the wives here wake up early in the morning and start cooking / preparing tiffin for their husbands or sons !! Such ladies have not even seen a lipstick in their entire life…maybe just seen the Bengali film actress wear on black and white television! So when they saw me – although I wore salwar kameez – and left early in the morning to catch the charted bus to first lal Bazaar and then from there to Babughat – they thought that I was actually going to some hotel! Poor things don’t even know that cabaret starts at night or late evening…. phew! ignorance is actually bliss!!


That I had been in love with a drummer (like in Tu sirf mera meheboob main teri mehebooba – lol- film Ajnabee) and had gotten pregnant with him! More lol lol lol – ROFL!! See how dumb can suburban women be? Had I been some cabaret dancer – I would have ideally roped in some frustrated but filthy rich client…..and lived lavishly ever after…but look at their sadistic mentality – they thought of the worst – made me fall for some pauper drummer in their fantasies…..gosh…even in their fantasies they do not wish good for another woman!!

That when I came back after 8 months of stay in Bangalore with my brother – I had actually gone to deliver the illegitimate child!!

Ee-meee-gawd!!like a typical B-grade Bengali or Hindi film heroine…I would keep my pyaar ki nishani (token of love)…..even if I have to keep him or her in some orphanage but definitely I will bring the unwanted baby to planet earth! Gosh how much more dumb can people be!!

So this was the most disgraceful and yet humorous at the same time rumor I heard about myself way back in the 1990s!! I was obviously very angry with the gossip mongers – mongrels actually – but one cannot really do anything about blabbering mouths!

Years passed and I understood the reason behind such hideous psychology !

As I mentioned earlier – suburban area, poor people mostly living hand to mouth, no style….no class…and miserly on top! Their only entertainment is ‘sex’! Thus we get to see PDA (public display of affection) everywhere – the love-lorn couples break the street lights so that they can smooch (and grope) for long in the darkness!

I lived for 23 long years with my parents here in this locality and I eventually saw and heard of things that were actually taking place around me. The daughters or grand daughters and even sons of the same gossip mongrels had come of age and were indulging in everything that is supposedly dirty! They were getting pregnant, parents were running helter-skelter to private clinics for abortion etc. Grand daughters changing sex-partners like clothes – they of course address them as lovers – and not sex-partners!

(deep sigh!) So basically the frustrated and pervert mentality females and males always judge others by their standards! So it was very natural of them to think of me as some cabaret dancer having eloped with a drummer, pregnated & then probably kicked by the drummer, joined parents again, went to Bangalore, delivered the unwanted infant and came back again to look for….more mongrels to have an affair with….like their sons, grand sons and daughters were doing!?

Conclusion – Do not be perturbed by rumours! People judge others by their standards! Forgive the ignorant and the pervert. Carry on with your own life. Do good. Be good. Truth will triumph!

** About dreams::

When people of this world are ready to agree with Mendeleev’s dream regarding the periodic table, Kekule’s dream for the diagram – structure of the benzene ring..why should they disagree with my dream regarding the re-incarnation of Shri Ramakrishna?

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One thought on “Forgive thy neighbors – People judge others by their standards after all!

  1. Is it actually your autobiography?
    I felt like I am reading a fictional writing. But I would not say that I am shocked since I myself was a victim of judgment and prejudice.
    I got married in November 28 and had my first child in September 6. She was a premature baby. My neighbors started coming to see if she looks like a premature baby. I hope you know the reason. Ironically I had her exactly nine months and eight days after wedding

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