Article written by Sahaja Yogini Saumya Rai
The ‘good’ part about having a Problem in your life is that over a period of time, the problem itself gives you a Solution. The ‘better’ part is that it helps you become someone you thought you could just dream of becoming. Now, some wise ones would reject this idea by saying ‘Problems are a myth. They are nothing but an unhealthy state of mind and we must never lead ourselves into believing that we are facing tough times.’
I deny this approach.
Sometimes, there are Problems. For Real. Glaring, Petrifying, Serious Problems. One can face it at home, at workplace or anywhere else. Sometimes it could involve a person and sometimes, it could be a situation with which we haven’t dealt before.
And the only way in which you can solve a problem is by Identifying it and Accepting that there ‘is’ a problem in the first place. Addressing the existence of something makes it a lot easier to deal with. Living in a constant state of denial just makes it more difficult- for the person facing it and the people around.
While wearing a Mask of Positivity in all weathers may help you achieve the status of ‘The Happiest Person Alive’, it is going to consume you from within. It will eat the insides of your emotional walls. It may also create a gap between what you read, write, perceive, sense and how you actually feel about all of that.
Keeping your problems to yourself isn’t a brave decision anymore.
Keeping your problems to yourself isn’t a brave decision anymore. Infact, most of the psychological disorders find their roots in suppressing the negative emotions you experience when something goes terribly wrong in your life. If it doesn’t end up manifesting on your mental health, it might find it’s way into exhibiting its traits on your everyday behaviour and dealings. People may misunderstand your aggression, your impulsive reactions, your restlessness. While you keep convincing them of your positive aura, your demeanour would tell an entirely different story. Don’t confuse them. Don’t confuse yourself either.
You never know how many people out there want to know that they are not alone in their personal, financial and spiritual struggles. Each one of us have faced a situation that took away Everything from us at that moment, in those days (Even months or years). The intensity may vary. Circumstances may vary. Endurance may vary.
But we know what it feels like- to stand firm on a ground that is hit by a massive emotional earthquake.
- Terminal illness,
- Physical or Mental Handicap,
- Separation of Parents,
- Divorce with your partner,
- Unbearable Loneliness after the death of a special someone,
- Loss in Business,
- Failure in Academics,
- Some kind of Addiction,
- Physical Abuse,
so on and so forth. It could be anything.
More Grave than this. Or Less Serious. But Important. Life-Altering.
Something that Changes the Chemical Composition of your Character.
Suppressed anger never allows you to reach a healthy conclusion.
You keep nibbling at rotten pieces of the Past that no longer exist. You dwell in a house that already has its roof of logic blown away. Talking about it will at least help you pack your bags and move. It will help you travel through roads you never knew existed. People will help you pave your way.
People other than those who hurt you. People different from those who caused you pain. Beautiful, Compassionate People.
Talking about your problem will not multiply the grief.
Talking about your problem will not multiply the grief. It will relieve you. It will help you find the right words.
The first time you would share it with someone, chances are that you might not believe your choice of vocabulary. You could be crass, indecent, immature and impulsive. You would realize that this is not how you want to go about it. So not feeling guilty about how you spoke, start again.
The second time, you will rephrase your words gracefully. You wouldn’t jump the gun. You would know what exactly has to be addressed. You realize that the first time you spoke about it, a part of what you said demanded sober editing. You went all berserk with words and you misused the power of language to a great extent.
Third time on, you will be crisp and precise- Refined Language and Dignity in Description.
And that’s how it goes.
Not only will it help you find real friends among those you thought are just ‘people who will never bother’ but will also help you discover that you had a repertoire of wisdom inside you that you never explored.
Sometimes Writing is not only a form of expression. It may also become the tool to drill into your Inner Self. You might find yourself exclaiming – ‘What?!? Did I really not talk about it all these years because I thought it’s kind of embarrassing to talk about my problems?? What kind of a closed, blind world did I build for myself??!?’
And there, my friend, you will have all your answers. Right there. In that exclamation. You will laugh and write. Write and laugh. People will Read, Relate and Respond. You will Revel and Rejoice. You will Smile. The Phoenix would raise its wings, ready to fly. And your smile will be the solution to all your problems.
Article written by Sahaja Yogini Saumya Rai