One clichéd question I am tired of answering!

They – How come you never fell in love with anyone?
Me – I did. I fell for a God-man.
They – Lol! What God-man? Are you crazy?
Me – Dunno… yeah, probably was. I was just 22 when I met him…
They – 22 is quite an old, mature age. How could you make such a blunder?
Me – Blunder? Well… I was given many indications of him being a divine personality, so…
They – Gosh! What nonsense are you even talking about? Indications, huh!? You think you’re some saint or seer? Lol!
Me – Well… whoever in the past — in our history, that is — narrated his or her dreams or uncanny happenings is considered someone very great. So how can you say that the indications I received regarding the God-man were all false and fake?
They – Well, mostly they are hallucinations, you know!
Me – Whatever… for me they were very real. I saw things happening, had indications through dreams, even got a confirmation about his divinity from a lady who conducted satsangs near our locality…
They – What confirmation?
Me – The fact that he is the reincarnation of Shri Ramakrishna!
They – Gosh! You have totally lost it! And even if he was, you cannot call him a God-man. He was just some temple purohit…
Me – You may not have read books on him and on Swami Vivekananda’s opinion about him, so just hear me out… So, on his death bed, Swamiji was thinking in his mind whether Ramakrishna was truly a divine personality as he claimed — and suddenly Shri Ramakrishna said, “Je Rama, je Krishna, shei holo je Ramakrishna!” (The one who was Shri Rama and the one who was Shri Krishna — verily, the same is me, Shri Ramakrishna!)
They – So?
Me – So… as a 22-year-old girl, who had just read about them and had done whatever little she could to attain a spiritual state — as mentioned in the books — I found the reincarnation of Shri Ramakrishna in just one year… whereas the rest of humanity (okay, maybe only West Bengal people) were just taking his name and doing bhajan-kirtan… but he did not reveal himself to them. So that added to my superiority complex, I guess!
They – Like… so what even if he was the reincarnation of whatever you thought him to be?
Me – I was always God-crazy, you see. And here I was, talking to the reincarnation of God (there are many who believe him to be so, btw). Obviously I made the most logical deduction — I am seeking God, he has already found God, so if somehow I can be close to him, I will also find God!
They – So this God-man proposed to you, huh!? Lol!!
Me – I proposed to him… as a matter of fact…
They – And he immediately accepted your proposal — as if he was waiting for you all his life, huh? (More lol…)
Me – No… he understood my state of mind… probably even understood that I was in “logic” with him rather than in “love.” So he asked me to pray and worship the Goddess and ask Her to show me the right path. He asked me to chant “Jai Maa”…
They – But you were already chanting mantras, you said — after reading various books on spirituality — so you were already a ‘mantra expert’, I guess!
Me – I used to chant “Shivoham” because that was what was suggested in The Complete Works of Swami Vivekananda — Tat Nishkala — “That I am not,” by Adi Shankaracharya…
They – Whatever… then you got over him after seven years of platonic love, as you say. You didn’t meet him even once during this time?
Me – Once I met him in 1994… parents came to know… thank God my brother was visiting us — he took me to Bengaluru and I joined NIIT… then of course I came back after eight months and joined NIIT here in Kolkata…
They – So you never met anyone else besides him? I mean, it’s usually “out of sight, out of mind,” na…
Me – See, this is where you all get me wrong. You keep forgetting that I fell for GOD. How could a mere mortal compete with God!? But of course I understand why most people don’t understand this — the majority of humans fall into the trap of sex, as they probably find it difficult to keep their hormones under control. So the fact that I was absolutely fine just being in love and not wanting any physical pleasure… is hard for many to digest…
They – But you were keen on getting married to him — marriage is basically “making sex legitimate” — so at the end of the day, were you not looking forward to consummation?
Me – Since you know very little of Shri Ramakrishna, let me enlighten you — he never touched his wife. He in fact worshipped her and considered her part and parcel of the Divine Mother Goddess, and even encouraged his disciples to think the same about her…
They – Oh my! And you thought that after becoming his wife, people would worship you!? And by the way, who had access to what a couple did behind closed doors?
Me – I don’t know all that. Please understand it was the understanding of a girl who was 22 and did not have much knowledge about how the spiritual realms work!
They – So you do realize that you wasted seven years of your prime youth in a maha-illusion!
Me – No… I am glad I had a mental block regarding marriage, and that I was closed to marriage proposals my poor parents were trying to fix for me. Because of my spinsterhood, I could focus totally on myself, work on myself — and I eventually found my Guru, as if custom-made for me… and She quenched my spiritual thirst completely!
They – Hmm… okies… as long as you can self-counsel yourself that you are happy, that is fine…
Me – That self-counselling everyone is doing — they justify their heartbreaks, successes, failures all the time — that is how we all survive…
They – Oh! Wow, Aparna Maate is gradually starting her pravachans… well thanks, but no thanks — I don’t need them…
Me – I am not giving you any either…